Oh, the HORROR. A baby…wearing glasses???? Next you’re going to tell me that his feet are a half-size different!! (Please don’t. I don’t think I could handle that.) Of course, speaking as the only person I’ve ever met who had to get bifocals at the ripe old age of eight (hey, I liked to read), I don’t feel much pity for the kid. For one thing, glasses help you SEE. I’m wearing mine right now and they’re incredibly useful! For another, babies and children with glasses is like the cutest thing everrrrr. Just look at that kid from “Jerry Maguire” who’s all grown up now. He made a grip of cash just for being the cute kid in glasses.
But really, the main reason I don’t pity the glasses-wearing-baby of whom Melody speaks is because he doesn’t need my pity. Or hers, or anyone else’s. He’s a fucking baby with glasses; it’s not the end of the world. Having poor vision doesn’t mean you’re not healthy. The kid can still outrun, out-smart, and potentially out-success Melody’s kid despite his “disability,” and if I was a praying woman, I’d ask God to make sure that happens. But since I’m not, I’ll just hope that Melody and her kid never have to experience a tragedy worse than a lens prescription. Hindsight is 20/20, right?
(submitted by Anonymous)
I got glasses at four. I am, by any measure, a healthy man. Fuck your pity, lady.
